You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize