she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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