I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
