I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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