I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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