Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
