No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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