i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
