Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
