I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
