he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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