I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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