I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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