problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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