Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
