Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
