if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize