there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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