just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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