I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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