Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I checked into jail on foursquare
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
