i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
