omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
