That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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