I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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