perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
