What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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