The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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