I think I died a long time ago.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
