Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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