the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I need a burrito and a hug.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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