Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
