? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize