This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
