And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Who died my cat blue again?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
