At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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