I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
