I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
