Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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