yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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