Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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