i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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