high people should be assigned attendants
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
