You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
