worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize