I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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