So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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