Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
