i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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