I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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