This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
