How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
