My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
