he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
