That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
