So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
