I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
