omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize