Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
