You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
