and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize