Walk of Shame. In a state park.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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