there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
