so explain again why im purple
no
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize