Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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