her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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