Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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