i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
