I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
