hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
