Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
