Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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