Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
