I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
