so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Everything about him screamed your future.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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