I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
