I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
