Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
