haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize